If Trump’s words were acted out in a porn movie, liberals would defend it

By Jonathon Van Maren

I wrote yesterday that one of the more frustrating aspects of the ongoing rediscovery of sexual ethics by the secular progressives in response to Mr. Trump’s crude overindulgence in the fruits of the Sexual Revolution was the blatant nature of the hypocrisy. The champions of pornography, alternative sexual lifestyles, crude public displays, and so much more have now discovered that one of their own has decided to oppose some of their favorite policies, which means that it’s time to start sounding like Jerry Falwell (the first one) condemning immorality.

A perfect example of this is one Dr. David Ley, the author of Ethical Porn for Dicks and The Myth of Sex Addiction. In the face of a tidal wave of evidence and hundreds of thousands of personal testimonies, Dr. David Ley has positioned himself as one of the porn industry’s most ardent defenders, insisting that porn addiction is a myth, that those who point out that pornography has caused erectile dysfunction are in essence liars, and that degrading sexual material can actually be a healthy expression of sexuality. Ley is a scientist in the same way the PHD-sporting hatchet-men of Big Tobacco were scientists—about to be swept away by the obvious, but clinging to respectability for the moment.

It was this guy, the defender of porn, who decided to retweet feminist Jessica Valenti’s response to the recent Access Hollywood Trump tapes. “Watching Billy Bush tell that woman to hug Trump after that conversation made me want to vomit,” she wrote. “Real men must not be complicit in condoning misogyny and sexual assault,” Ley added approvingly. “It’s simple to merely say ‘Dude, that’s not okay.’”

Which is why I felt compelled to point out to Ley that saying, “Dude, that’s okay” is pretty much his job. I responded: “Really? The guy who defends BDSM porn & his woman-hating fetishes found the high ground?”

Ley responded immediately: “your implication is offensive. Please show me where I have EVER condoned misogyny or violation of a woman’s consent?”

Considering the porn industry’s record on “respecting a woman’s consent”—one member of the BDSM community actually told Salon.com that every woman in such communities that she knows has been sexually assaulted—and considering the porn industry’s systematic dehumanization and degradation of women through mainstream acts of humiliation and repulsive name calling, the question seemed like faux outrage to me.

So I responded: “You defend porn that calls women the most dehumanizing and vile names as a matter of course.”

Ley attempted to ignore the point, snarking: “especially that gay and lesbian Indy porn.”

“Nice dodge,” I wrote back. “Do you defend material that calls women the c-word or whores as ‘healthy’ or do you condemn it?”

There. Pretty simple yes-or-no question, I thought. Surely a man who seemed so offended by the crudeness of Donald Trump would be willing to condemn material that dehumanized women with degrading slurs?

Nope. Ley doubled down: “Why don’t you like the idea that some people may choose and be aroused by this?” he asked.

As usual, these so-called feminist men are happy to virtue-signal online and act outraged by disrespect for their sisters, while also happy to masturbate to real women and real girls being called “whores” and treated in absolutely appalling ways by the porn industry. “Because the c-word is to misogyny what the n-word is to racism and men being aroused by misogyny is disgusting,” I replied.

At this point, Dr. Ley seemed to get a bit uncomfortable. “I think you’re trying to pick a fight with me, w/out having read or heard my actual opinions. Wonder why?” he asked. I actually hadn’t intended to pick a fight with him—I’m rarely on Twitter. I was just watching the political meltdown, and happened to see his tweet in my feed. But that seemed besides the point to me. I really just wanted something quite simple: a condemnation of material that glorifies the degradation of women. How hard would it be for a liberal to condemn calling women the c-word? And shouldn’t saying that it’s arousing make it worse, not better?

“Fair enough,” I wrote back. “But the question is simple: Do [you] condemn porn that calls women the c-word or whores? Not a hard one.”

Finally, he answered: “No. Sexual fantasies are complex and not necessarily nice. To address misogyny & racism we must address them in larger society.” This is particularly ironic, considering that fact that over 80% of men consume porn regularly, and over half of women do. Those users, one might say, constitute a large part of larger society. The random introduction of race into the question was also interesting, since pornography is one of our culture’s most prolific and insidious purveyors of ugly racial stereotypes, regularly producing material that portrays black men as the sexual attackers of white women and producing grotesque slave-era material to eroticize the worst cultural prejudices.

“So 1) there’s no problem getting aroused by being called the c-word,” I responded, “and 2) porn isn’t part of larger society?”

At that point, Ley was done. “I don’t think we can have an adequately detailed discussion of this by Twitter,” he wrote. “Feel free to send me a letter.” He ignored my request for an email address to take him up on the offer.

This is important to note. Porn use is a choice, sure. But I have yet to hear a single good response to my assertion that men arousing themselves to women being beaten up, called vulgar and dehumanizing names, and otherwise degraded is creepy, disgusting, and anti-feminine in every way. What does it say about someone who enjoys watching a woman in genuine pain? Or watching teenage girls subjected to sex acts that result in them vomiting uncontrollably? Or seeing men slap, punch, and hurt women in other ways too vile to describe here?

I would posit that it doesn’t say anything good. So to Dr. David Ley and the porn industry’s other human shields, spare us the fake outrage over Donald Trump’s actions. We all know that if a film was produced with a man like Trump doing precisely the things he described to a woman and it was called “porn,” you’d probably enjoy it, and you’d certainly defend it.