This is gender ideology in practice: The gut-wrenching stories of de-transitioners

Over the past several years, the mainstream press has been working overtime to debunk the testimonies of “de-transitioners” – the men and women, most of them very young, who underwent various transgender interventions, such as puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and “sex change” surgeries. Those of you who read this blog regularly will have read many of their stories; there are now so many de-transitioners speaking out that an entire genre of dissident documentaries has sprung up featuring their stories (I reviewed one of them at length here). 

These stories are important – they emphasize the human cost of the so-called “gender-affirming care” constantly pushed by the press and promoted by politicians such as President Biden, who insists that “sex change” surgeries for minors are a “human right.” Chloe Cole, who shared her own heartbreaking story of de-transition with Jordan Peterson some time ago and frequently testifies in favor of bans on transgender procedures, recently shared a comment posted on the Reddit forum “r/MtF”—a thread for those who “transitioned” from male to “female.” This is not a forum for de-transitioners, mind you. It is titled “Regret Everything.” Read it and weep: 

I feel like I’m in some sort of a sick joke nightmare.  

I’m 21 years old, 4 years HRT [Hormone Replacement Therapy], 7 months post-op [sex change surgery]. I look good, pass ok and have a serious relationship with my boyfriend, my family is supportive as well as my friends. But I just feel like I regret everything. No matter what I do or how good my transition goes I feel different, I feel like I will never be accepted by society and I’ll always be that weird trans girl. I actually thought that I’ll transition and that’s it I’m not a trans girl anymore which is obviously stupid. 

I wish I could just go back to being a boy and forget about everything. I honestly don’t feel better now than before transitioning and everyday feel like a struggle. 

I was pretty good at being a boy, had lots of friends was reasonably happy and I blend flawlessly into society. Never had major dysphoria and everything was so normal. Life is so easy being cis [a transgender term for identifying with your sex]. (Or pretending being one. I feel like I did SRS [sex change surgery] just because my insurance paid for it and I just said to myself meh ok let’s do it, it free. 

I feel like I f___d up big time and I want my previous life back so much and feel like I didn’t fully understand how serious SRS is and how irreversible this surgery was. I feel like I didn’t fully understand what and why I was doing for the past 4 years and just did everything a trans girl supposed to do. 

There is no going back now and I’m so scared it’s going to feel like that forever. I was too young, I messed up…Pls don’t hate me. 

This was a boy from California, sold on transgender ideology at a young age, told it was reversible – and had castration and removal of his genitals funded by the state. Now, he can’t go back – even though ideologues promise kids that this is all “reversible.”  

That story was posted on a pro-transgender Reddit forum. The stories on the “r/detrans” Reddit forum – which currently has more than 50,000 members – are gut-wrenching to read through. One post, from six hours ago at time of writing: 

I am a piece of s__t for forcing my friends and family to go along with this b___t 

I never passed. I made them pretend like I was passing and pretend like I wasn’t a clown. I forced them to take a side in a political issue 

Men can never be women and women can never be men. End of. Period 

I’m killing myself in a few weeks because I cannot figure out how to ever recover from this. I have ruined my f____g life. I hate what I have done to myself and my family 

Somebody responded: 

I can feel you. After getting of hormones it was like wake up from a dream. I don’t know what did I think? How did I get to idea to take hormones? How much did I hate myself that I could not accept reality? How could I think that I can be opposite sex?? How could I be a clown for so long time? Spend so much money, time? But I will not give up. I will get out from this madness. So will you. Do not give up. 

She replied: 

I couldn’t stop taking hormones. I tried and I felt so much worse. As much as I hate to admit it the hormones made me feel better. I don’t have body dysphoria anymore and when I stopped taking hormones and my body started to revert, I felt disgusted with myself. Hormones didn’t turn me into the opposite sex though. I was born female and I still look completely female. I am trying to quit again but I do not want to go back to how my body used to look. My body starts to feminize and it feels like it’s not my body anymore. I have tried to find a therapist who can help but they don’t exist. Everyone is just affirm, affirm, affirm. I don’t want to be trans anymore but I cannot stop taking the hormones. I don’t know what to do 

What have we done to these kids? What has our society put them through? This – this is the reality behind the trans flags everywhere; the pronouns in social media bios; the politicians babbling about their commitment to “human rights.” Tens of thousands of lives destroyed – and counting.  

Another comment, from a 20-year-old “detrans woman,” one day ago: 

It has been three years since I detransitioned. I socially transitioned at 13, was put on lupron at age 14, testosterone at age 15, would have gotten top surgery at age 16 if covid hadn’t hit. I detransitioned at age 17, and I genuinely think if covid hadn’t hit I would never have realized what a horrible mistake I was making. All I can say is that I suddenly felt like everything was crashing, and I just kept thinking, I am only seventeen years old. And I already have so many permanent changes. Why did I do this to myself? 

…I don’t know what the future holds for us. I am scared into silence, most of the time. I am afraid that if I speak about what happened to me, I will not be able to get a job. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but I don’t think I am. I have seen the way detransitioners get treated. I was in the trans community for four years. I know how they treat us, as if we are traitors, or a threat to their ideology. Somehow liars and also not real, all at once. I am afraid that I cannot have friends and talk about my life as a detransitioned woman at the same time. They cannot coexist in this political climate. 

I am not on any social media because it is what made me transition in the first place. I will probably not check this post again. I just had to say somewhere that I am real. That I am not a “right wing talking point,” I am not part of some “bigoted agenda.” I am a human being. My desire to talk about my pain is not part of a political agenda. My desire to talk about my pain is because I am hurting. 

I have to live the rest of my life with a man’s voice, acne scars, joint pain, severe cramps, hot flashes, sore ribs, and shave my face once a week, because when I was fifteen I would have rather died than be a woman. I may never be able to have a baby because of a stupid mistake I made when I was fifteen. I don’t know how to ever trust a therapist or doctor again. This is my life forever. 

Those are just a couple of examples of thousands upon thousands of comments. Many talk about sexual dysfunction and lack of normal sexual function post-“transition.” Many mourn the loss of breasts and genitals and express horror at thinning hair and permanently changed voices. Others struggle to understand why once-healthy body parts such as breasts now look deformed and beg other commenters for advice. All have been profoundly damaged by their journey and are struggling to find others to help them through their brokenness. 

If you have friends or family who support the transgender movement, send them this forum. Ask them to read through the posts for an hour – or even 15 minutes. And then ask them if they’ve changed their minds.  

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